CAREER & HIRING ADVICE

The shift to hybrid work models has brought flexibility and autonomy, but it hasn’t eliminated a persistent workplace challenge: the difficult coworker. In fact, the blend of in-office and remote work can sometimes exacerbate existing tensions or create new misunderstandings.

Whether it’s a colleague who micromanages from afar, consistently misses virtual deadlines, dominates video calls, or simply brings a wave of negativity to the shared digital space, their behavior can significantly impact your productivity, morale, and overall job satisfaction.

Learning how to navigate these relationships effectively is crucial for thriving in the evolving landscape of work.  

This article will explore practical strategies for addressing issues with difficult coworkers in a hybrid setting, focusing on communication, boundary-setting, leveraging technology appropriately, and knowing when to escalate the problem.

The Unique Challenges of Hybrid Work Conflicts

Hybrid environments present a unique set of hurdles when it comes to interpersonal dynamics. The reduced face-to-face interaction can lead to misinterpretations of tone in emails or chat messages. Non-verbal cues, which are vital for understanding intent, are often lost or obscured through a screen. This can cause minor irritations to fester and grow into significant conflicts.  

Furthermore, the “out of sight, out of mind” phenomenon can lead to some colleagues feeling disconnected or, conversely, overcompensating with constant digital check-ins. Issues like inconsistent communication, unclear expectations for responsiveness across different work locations, and the blurring of work-life boundaries can all contribute to friction. As a Harvard Business Review article points out, ensuring fairness and inclusion in a hybrid model is complex, and perceived inequities can fuel resentment among team members.  

Step 1: Identify the Specific Behavior and Its Impact

Before taking any action, it’s essential to clearly define what makes the coworker “difficult.” Is it their communication style, work habits, attitude, or something else? Vague complaints like “they’re annoying” are unhelpful. Instead, pinpoint specific, observable behaviors. For example:

• “Consistently interrupts others during virtual team meetings.”
• “Fails to respond to important Slack messages for over 24 hours when working remotely.”
• “Sends passive-aggressive comments in group emails.”
• “Takes credit for collaborative work done by remote team members during in-office presentations.”
• “Frequently complains or spreads negativity during informal chat channels.”

Once you’ve identified the behavior, consider its tangible impact on your work and well-being. Does it hinder your ability to complete tasks? Does it create a stressful or uncomfortable work environment? This analysis will help you determine the severity of the issue and the best course of action. Understanding the root cause of workplace conflict can also provide perspective.

Step 2: Self-Reflection – Check Your Perspective

It’s also important to look inward. Could there be aspects of your own behavior or perception contributing to the situation? Are you misinterpreting their actions due to the limitations of hybrid communication?

Sometimes, what we perceive as malice is simply a difference in communication styles or stress manifesting in unhelpful ways. Psychology Today suggests that self-awareness is key in any interpersonal conflict. Consider if personal biases or assumptions are coloring your view before you decide the coworker is solely the problem.

This doesn’t mean excusing genuinely problematic behavior, but rather ensuring you approach the situation with as much objectivity as possible.

Step 3: Choose Your Communication Strategy Wisely

If you decide the behavior warrants a direct conversation, the hybrid model requires careful consideration of how and when you communicate.

• Opt for Richer Communication Channels for Sensitive Topics: While a quick chat message is fine for simple queries, addressing a difficult behavior should ideally be done via a video call or, if possible, an in-person conversation when you’re both in the office. These channels allow for non-verbal cues and can reduce misunderstandings. Research highlights the importance of choosing the right communication tool in hybrid settings.
• Schedule a Dedicated Time: Don’t try to address a serious issue on the fly or at the end of an unrelated meeting. Request a separate, private conversation. This signals the importance of the discussion and allows both parties to prepare.
• Use “I” Statements and Focus on Behavior, Not Personality: Frame your concerns around your own experience and the impact of their specific actions. For example, instead of saying “You’re so disruptive in meetings,” try “I find it difficult to concentrate on my points when there are frequent interruptions during our virtual team meetings.” This approach is less accusatory and more likely to lead to a constructive dialogue. The Center for Creative Leadership offers guidance on delivering constructive feedback.
• Be Specific and Offer Solutions (If Applicable): Clearly state the behavior and its impact. For example, “When project updates are shared last minute via chat on remote days, I sometimes miss critical information which then impacts my part of the project. Could we perhaps establish a shared document for updates by a certain time?”
• Listen Actively: Give your coworker a chance to share their perspective. They might be unaware of the impact of their behavior, or there might be underlying reasons for it. Active listening is a cornerstone of effective conflict resolution.

Step 4: Setting and Reinforcing Boundaries

Boundaries are crucial in any work environment, but they take on added importance in a hybrid model where work and personal life can easily blend. If a coworker’s demands, communication style, or negativity is encroaching on your ability to work effectively or maintain your well-being, clear boundaries are necessary.

• Define Your Availability: If a colleague consistently messages you outside of work hours or expects instant responses when you’re deep in focused work, you might need to clarify your communication availability. Utilize status settings in communication tools (e.g., “Focusing,” “Available”) and consider muting notifications during certain periods.
• Control Your Responsiveness: You don’t always need to reply immediately, especially if the coworker is prone to urgency that isn’t justified. Managing expectations around response times is key.
• Politely Disengage from Negativity: If a coworker constantly complains or tries to draw you into office gossip, you can politely redirect the conversation or excuse yourself. For example, “I understand you’re frustrated, but I need to focus on this report right now,” or in a chat, “Got to jump off and tackle a deadline!”
• Protect Your Time and Energy: If in-office days become dominated by a particularly draining coworker, try to structure your day to minimize non-essential interactions or ensure you have focused remote days to compensate.

Step 5: Document Everything

If the difficult behavior persists despite your attempts to address it directly, or if it’s severe (e.g., harassment, bullying, significant undermining of your work), meticulous documentation is vital. This is especially true in a hybrid setting where interactions can be fragmented across different platforms.

• Keep a Record: Note dates, times, specific behaviors, the communication channel used (email, chat, video call, in-person), and the impact on you or your work.
• Save Relevant Communications: Archive pertinent emails, screenshots of chat messages, or summaries of verbal conversations (noting who was present if applicable).
• Focus on Facts: Keep your documentation objective and factual. Avoid emotional language or personal opinions. The Society for Human Resource Management (SHRM) often emphasizes the importance of documentation in addressing workplace issues.

This documentation will be crucial if you need to escalate the issue to your manager or Human Resources.

Step 6: Leverage Technology and Hybrid Work Structures

The tools and structures of hybrid work can also be used to mitigate issues with difficult coworkers.

• Utilize Project Management Tools: Clear task assignments, deadlines, and progress tracking in shared platforms (like Asana, Trello, or Jira) can reduce ambiguity and opportunities for a coworker to drop the ball or claim credit unduly. These tools provide a transparent record of contributions.
• Structured Meeting Agendas and Moderation: For virtual meetings, a clear agenda and active moderation can prevent individuals from dominating the conversation or going off-topic. The meeting host can play a key role in ensuring all voices are heard, including those joining remotely.  
• Asynchronous Communication for Non-Urgent Matters: Encourage the use of email or project-specific channels for updates that don’t require an immediate response. This can reduce interruptions from coworkers who overuse instant messaging.
• Use In-Office Time Strategically: If certain collaborative tasks are consistently undermined by a difficult coworker remotely, try to schedule those critical components for days when key team members are physically present, allowing for more direct oversight and immediate clarification.

Step 7: Knowing When and How to Escalate

If you’ve tried direct communication and boundary setting, and the problematic behavior continues or worsens, or if the behavior is particularly egregious (e.g., discrimination, harassment, bullying), it’s time to escalate the issue to your manager or Human Resources.

• Consult Your Manager First (Usually): In most cases, your direct manager is the first point of contact. Schedule a private meeting and present your documented concerns clearly and objectively. Explain the steps you’ve already taken to resolve the issue.
• Approach HR for Serious Issues or if Management is Unresponsive: If the issue involves harassment, discrimination, a serious breach of company policy, or if your manager is unable or unwilling to help, go to HR. They are trained to handle such complaints and can advise on formal procedures. HR plays a critical role in conflict resolution and maintaining a safe workplace.
• Focus on Impact and Business Reasons: When escalating, emphasize the impact of the coworker’s behavior on team productivity, morale, project outcomes, or adherence to company values, rather than just personal annoyance.

Step 8: Prioritize Your Well-being

Dealing with a difficult coworker, especially in the nuanced hybrid environment, can be emotionally draining. It’s essential to take steps to protect your own mental and emotional health.

• Seek Support from Trusted Peers (Discreetly): Sometimes, simply venting to a trusted colleague (who is not involved) or a friend outside of work can provide relief and perspective. However, be cautious about engaging in office gossip.
• Focus on What You Can Control: You cannot control your coworker’s behavior, but you can control your reactions and responses. Focus your energy on your own work and the positive relationships you do have.
• Practice Stress Management Techniques: Engage in activities that help you de-stress, whether it’s exercise, mindfulness, hobbies, or spending time in nature. The American Psychological Association offers resources on managing workplace stress.
• Consider If the Environment is Truly Tenable: If the situation is severely impacting your health and happiness, and there’s no resolution in sight despite your best efforts and escalation, you may need to consider if this work environment is ultimately the right fit for you long-term.

Conclusion: Building a More Harmonious Hybrid Future

The hybrid work model is still evolving, and so are the strategies for managing interpersonal dynamics within it.

Dealing with a difficult coworker requires patience, strategic communication, firm boundaries, and a clear understanding of when to seek help. By identifying problematic behaviors, communicating constructively, leveraging the tools of the hybrid workplace, and prioritizing your well-being, you can navigate these challenges more effectively.

Ultimately, fostering a respectful and productive hybrid environment is a shared responsibility, but empowering yourself with these strategies can make your work life significantly more manageable and positive.